THE OBRONI'S LESSON

THE OBRONI’S LESSON

Three nights ago my young adventure in Ghana took down an unexpected, yet eye-opening course. We – Cole, Aria, Jessica, Kathleen, and I – had just finished another scrumptious, spice-filled Ghanaian dinner and were debating over what we should do next. It was still fairly early – about 6:50 PM on the calm evening of Friday September 4, 2009 – so we all decided to come to Cole and my room to hang out for a bit. When we got to the room we all dispersed to our own space. I went to my territory – the bed against the windows. Cole went to his bed. Aria sat in the chair closest to the windows. And Kathleen and Jessica were content with sitting on the floor. However, that is all really neither here nor there. What is really important – and is, in my mind, the most life-changing event so far during our time in Ghana – is the unplanned, genuine conversation that was to play out over the next four hours. The conversation began in a very innocuous, normal manner. However, it soon took a turn to a very thought-provoking exchange of knowledge, belief, faith, and convictions.

As I remember it, it all started when we were talking about our time (9 months to be) in Ghana, the people we hoped to serve, and the lives we hoped to impact. Cole came to the self-realization that in the grand scheme of the universe and over the long history of time, nothing we really do here (in Africa) matters. We will all do a great deal of good, and we all hope to be a force of positive influence. But who’s to say that these things will matter or maintain any lasting, measurable influence when we pass away? The majority, if not all, of us did not share nearly as cynical a view as Cole did. Although, it should be noted that to him that view is probably not cynical at all. He just accepts that that is the way life is and always will be, and we must deal with it – and make the best of it.

Our conversation soon expanded. What began as a fairly simple discourse over differing philosophical views soon grew to a raw, honest, and intellectual exchange of each of our religious, life, and world views. I found out that Jessica is a fervent believer in Christ. So much so that she has dedicated her life to living in a way that is in complete submission and unison with the will of her Heavenly Father. I admire this belief. I have no doubt that God will continue to reveal himself to her as she lives for Him in a radical way. Aria left the conversation early because she was exhausted. She is also, unequivocally, the most dedicated journaler (not a word but I am making it one for the sake of convenience because this blog gives me creative liberty) in our group, and I trust that she was returning to her room for a sound period of personal reflection time. Despite her relative silence, I could tell that Aria was pensive. She has some definite, strong convictions but just needs to feel that the timing is right, and then she will let them be known. She made it clear that she too is a Christian. Kathleen said she is a Christian. Although she conceded that she is definitely searching and always open, tolerant, and eager to hear different schools of belief. Kathleen is a vivacious girl, and she really kept the conversation in a state of constant motion with her inquisitive spirit and willingness to share. Cole is my boy for life (I just had to put that down in writing; now it’s documented and official). Cole admitted that he does not align himself with any single line of faith. However, he too seems to be a person who is constantly searching and always yearning to understand and know more. He is an extremely talented individual, and the Lord has blessed him with brightness of intellect. As we talked I noticed that the five of us were all at different stages in our lives. And that our beliefs and who we are as individuals is a result of the sum of all of our experiences. These differing experiences have led us all down different paths and caused us to believe different things. However, despite many routes, we have all arrived at the same transitory destination: Here, together in Ghana, West Africa.

As we all talked together, I realized that the lesson within our conversation was not to be found in who was right or wrong. Or in who could put together the most intellectual case for his/her argument. Or in whether or not we could even come to a consensus. The lesson was in the fact that we are five unique people with a common strip of time together – a time to be shared as Friends. I remember hitting an emotional and mental low-point on Thursday August 27 during Bridge Year Orientation at Princeton. I must be honest. I did not feel as though I initially “clicked” with the four other people that were to accompany me to Ghana. I felt like we were just five dissimilar freshmen who were forced to be together for no other reason than we were the five chosen by the Princeton Bridge Year board to go to Ghana. I didn’t feel a common bond, shared interests, or a sense of compatibility. I remember thinking to myself: “I would never become friends with these people on my own. We are only dealing with each other out of obligation and convenience, and that is not true friendship. However, following two full days of travel, shared sickness, collective embarrassment brought about by an innumerable amount of Twi faux pas, and one captivating and eye-opening conversation, I realized how dismally erroneous I was! The problem was not in the four new people I had just met. I was my own problem. I had left my mind back in Charlotte, North Carolina while my body was preparing to go to Ghana, West Africa. And this had caused me to isolate myself, leaving me unapproachable and closed off to new friendships. I realized that my best friends at home will always be there because those friendships are real, passionate, and built on the immovable foundation of fun, laughter, trust, and forgiveness. This is what gave me confidence to move forward. I needed to be open to meeting new people, new friends. I needed to prepare myself for instantaneous friendships. Relationships based on possibilities rather than probabilities. We (the five of us) know our time together will be brief, even momentary. We value the time we do spend together. We spill our guts. We listen attentively. We’re acutely aware of the fleeting but intense nature of our comradeship. By virtue of being five volunteers temporarily on the same route, in the same space, we share a commonality that rises above our country of origin, above the medley of language and cultural barriers. I think of how I was right: These are friends I never would have met if we had not traveled. And that is precisely why I am so proud, thankful, and blessed to be where I am – with these people. We are five “Obronis” struggling well with life together. I recall when the five of us first met. Did we know immediately that we would be friends? Could we have formed a friendship if we had met at home? I realized that this was all inconsequential. That lesson does not lie within the answers to these questions. The lesson lies in the fact that we are all “Obronis” – grateful four our traveling friendship. It is a shame that it took me this long, and I had to come to Ghana, West Africa to figure this out. But perhaps that is what makes my new friends so special. I guess you could call it: THE OBRONIS LESSON…